Three Common Mistakes to Avoid When Getting Divorced

One – Not seeking best in class legal advice

Although the family law system in England and Wales encourages couples to work out arrangements for their children and the financial settlement for themselves, it is crucial to do so whilst receiving the advice of an experienced Family Law Solicitor. They will examine your situation dispassionately, listen to what you need to be as financially secure as possible, and advise you on the best steps to take.

Legal advice is especially important if your spouse is controlling or displays narcissistic traits. Having an experienced Divorce Law Solicitor on your side who is not intimidated by such behaviour will ensure you and your children’s best interests are protected and any attempts to delay proceedings or play games are swiftly quashed.

It is also important to politely ignore advice from family and friends. Although they can provide invaluable support during this challenging time, the advice they give could well be inaccurate. This will simply add more confusion and angst to the situation.

Two – Not getting a financial order

Failure to get a financial order is one of the costliest mistakes you can make. Although you may have negotiated a financial settlement, without a financial order made by the Court, your ex-spouse could make a claim against you at any time.

If you apply to the Court for a financial order, a Family Court Judge will examine the agreement and apply the factors under section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 to ensure it is fair. The section 25 factors are:

• the income, earning capacity, property, and other financial resources each party has access to now and in the near future
• the financial needs, obligations, and responsibilities of each of the parties now and in the near future
• the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage
• the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage
• any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage
• the contributions that each of the parties has made or is likely in the near future concerning caring for any children of the marriage
• the conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would, in the opinion of the court, be inequitable to disregard it
• the value of any benefit one party will fail to acquire due to the divorce

Once a financial order has been made, you and your ex-spouse can relax in the knowledge that neither of you can make a future financial claim. It is exceptionally rare for the Courts to re-open a financial order. Having one in place provides clarity and certainty for everyone involved.

Three – weaponising your children

When you are hurt and angry it is natural to want to make your partner suffer. One way to do this is to turn your children against your spouse or frustrate their ability to spend time with their children.

Solid research illustrates that divorce can negatively affect children’s mental health, behaviour, and academic attainment. How the parents manage the divorce process can make an enormous difference on the impact parental separation. It is imperative not to alienate your children from the other parent or attempt to block contact.

Your Family Law Solicitor can assist you with negotiating child arrangements that will work for the whole family. Once you and your spouse have agreed on matters such as who the children will live with most of the time and when the non-residential parent will have contact, an application for a Child Arrangement Order can be made to formalise the agreement.

Wrapping up

Getting divorced is one of life’s most stressful events. This is especially so if the separation involves children, family businesses, complex financial arrangements, overseas property, and where both parties cannot agree. With an experienced and empathic Family Law Solicitor on your side, you can relax in the knowledge that everything will be done to protect your interests and those of your children.

For a free consultation to discuss your divorce or dissolution, including any child or financial arrangements, please call our understanding and caring family law team on 0208 300 6666.